God Gave me The Opportunity by David Barton
Hamilton at last conceded to his friends that if he did not face Burr in a duel, he knew that he would be publicly branded as a coward and that his own personal reputation would be so tarnished that he could never again hold public office. He explained: baron burr
David Barton tells us that to those who, with me, abhorring the practice of dueling, may think that I ought on no account to have added to the number of bad examples, I answer that my relative situation, as well in public as private, . . . impressed on me . . . a peculiar necessity not to decline the call. The ability to be in future useful, whether in resisting mischief or [achieving] good . . . would probably be inseparable from . . . public prejudice [against me if I refuse]. 56
Hamilton did not want to fight, yet he knew that he must at least appear to fight – and “appear to fight” is a key phrase. Since it was his personal commitment that he would shoot no man unless it were on a military battlefield in defense of life or country, Hamilton therefore decided not to fire at Aaron Burr but rather to fire his pistol into the air – or even not fire it at all. In those final days before the duel, Hamilton recorded his decision for posterity:
I have resolved, if . . . it pleases God to give me the opportunity, to reserve and throw away my first [shot]; and I have thoughts even of reserving my second [shot] – and thus giving a double opportunity to Col. Burr. 57 Hamilton believed that Burr would take full advantage of this opportunity and that Burr would likely shoot him down.